Forget what Chimamanda Adichie told you about Nsukka in her stories, if you picked UNN hoping to enjoy that serenity or fall in love like Obinze and Ifemelu, I feel sorry for you. The ways the school will frustrate you oporrr.
Here are some of the ways UNN will make you regret being an undergraduate. Read and tell us if we are lying.
1 Hot and cold weather served together
Dearest undergraduate, you arrived on campus without a sweater? How do you like your suffering? Cold or chilled? Ah, uncle, you came with a sweater? RIP in advance oh. The heat is coming to parboil you.
2 6 A:M GST classes
Welcome to UNN. Your first year GST classes are fixed by 6 am and by 6:15 the hall is already full but the lecturer who is driving down from Enugu doesn’t show up until 8 am. All die na die. Attendance, mandatory!
3 Okpa is your new best friend
Fried rice, Jollof rice, Amala, Akpu, Pizza, Shawarma all of them will take a backseat so your newfound delicacy, Okpa di oku, can reign supreme. You don’t have a choice, you either eat or starve. Don’t worry, the taste gets better with time. It takes practice.
4 Chemistry Department will welcome you with your first F
You were headboy ooo, you had 9 As in Waec, you scored 340 in JAMB, Chemistry department doesn’t care. They will put you with the others. The first name you will likely hear in UNN is Asegebeloyin, Professor of Inorganic Chemistry and the enabler of your first F. Don’t stress it, just collect your L and rest.
5 Kirikiri has got nothing on the boys hostel
If you have never seen the inside of a prison before, Alvan hall and Eni Njoku are the closest experiences you will ever get. The inmates are running the asylum over there.
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Hot and cold weather served together
6 A:M GST classes
Okpa is your new best friend
Chemistry Department will welcome you with your first F
Kirikiri has got nothing on the boy's hostel