If you speak fluent as a Nigerian, you’ll understand that not everything a Nigerian says means exactly what you’ve heard. We’ve broken down some of the most popular Nigerian phrases and what they actually mean.
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1 When they say "With all due respect"
What they actually mean: I am about to absolutely destroy you with the next few words that come out of my mouth, therefore I need to say this as a cushion for your feelings.
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2 When they say "God forgive me oooh"
What they actually mean: I’m gossiping and I want to say something very terrible about this person but I also don’t want to be seen as a terrible person, therefore, I must ask for the forgiveness of God before I say it.
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3 When they say "You are smart ooh"
What they actually mean: All my life, I’ve always thought you were really, super stupid just by looking at you. You have done something to prove me wrong.
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4 When they say "To cut the long story short"
What they actually mean: I didn’t cut the long story short. I actually told you the full story. And now I’m concluding.
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5 When they say "Its not your fault"
What they actually mean: It is actually your fault, but I blame myself for trusting an idiot like you to do something without fucking it up.
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6 When they say "See as you look presentable today"
What they actually mean: You’ve looked raggedy as hell every day before today. Today is the first day you look like an actual, respectable human being
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7 When they say "I am coming"
What they actually mean: I am in fact, not coming. I am going out.
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8 When they say " I'm not there ooh"
What they actually mean: We have all done something very terrible, and some sort of punishment is a possible consequence. Therefore, by the proclamation of these words, I hereby absolve myself of all blame and wipe out all traces connecting me back to aforementioned terrible thing.
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9 When they say "I don't blame you"
What they actually mean: You are a terrible person but I blame someone else for not dealing with you before you became this horrible. (Most times, they mean the person’s parents.
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Which among the list are you most conversant with?
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A Quick one! Answer the below let's see your answers.
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When they say "I don't blame you"
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When they say " I'm not there ooh"
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When they say "I am coming"
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When they say "Its not your fault"
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When they say "You are smart ooh"
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